Family is, and always has been, very important to me. If I say anything in this post that seems a bit harsh, well, it’s just the kind of humor my family is used to. None of us take offense, and neither should you.
That said, the other day I drove to my grandparents house with a mission: teach my grandmother how to use a computer. My 80-some year old grandparents just got a nice, new Mac laptop. Before last Thursday, neither of them had ever used a computer before. So, being the one grandchild in a computer/technology-related job (but I like to think it’s because I’m the favorite grandchild), I immediately received a phone call Thursday morning from my mother asking if I could go over to my grandparents house “just for a little bit” to teach them the ins and outs of computer use.
Not that I wasn’t looking forward to driving through sleet and rain to Arlington (or as we locals say “A-town"), but I immediately resisted. “Why me? Why tonight?”
“Because they love you. Because they never see you. Because you’re their grandchild.”
Dammit.
So I drove over there, through rush hour, through sleet and rain and when I was only a few minutes away I got another call from my mother. “Grandma said she was having some trouble using her mouse, so be sure you help her with that too.” Sure, I said, but how much trouble could she really be having?
I walked in my grandparents house, was lead down the hallway to the office where my grandmother had her computer ready on a desk. We sat down and I began walking through things with her. I was immediately surprised at how basic I had to be, and even more surprised at how overwhelming everything seemed to my grandmother. Even teaching her how to open a window or exit from a window (“what’s a window?”), find a website (“what’s a website?”), or how to capitalize letters (!) was complex and time consuming. We Googled my brother, we Googled “glucosamine” to see if it was a treatment for TMJ (a common ailment in my family), we even Googled “how to make a cake” – she knows how to make a cake, but it was pretty amazing to see the look on her face when there were over 17 million results.
When I finally looked up from the computer an hour-and-a-half had passed, and I still had to teach her about email. During this whole session my grandmother had been writing down word for word everything I was saying. She was up to six pages by then -- it was pretty intense!
My grandfather, a stubborn yet surprisingly emotional (and retired) Navy Captain, walked in to the room as I created a Gmail account for them. Since the beginning, he has been against getting a computer, getting on the internet, or having email (“we never needed any of this crap in the Navy”). I knew what would get him interested, though.
I emailed my brother who was in India at the time, and as we waited for a response, my grandfather asked, “do we need to have the computer open to get messages?”
“No, you see...they’re in your email.”
“Right, but what is email? Where does it go? Are they on the computer forever?”
“Well, no...the internet is a series of tubes...”
Okay I didn’t say that, but it was at this point that I realized how big of a concept the internet really is! I know we’ve all heard that before, but if you have lived 80+ years without ever even having an inkling as to what the internet or email is, it’s mind boggling! Luckily I managed to skip over the whole “what is the internet” thing and move right back to email when my brother finally responded.
“Hey!” he wrote, “It’s good to see you on email. I’m here in India, working hard as usual.”
My grandfather -- the strong, courageous Navy man -- almost lost it. He no longer cared about how something like this was possible, he only cared that it was happening – that he could converse almost instantaneously with his grandchild in India. While he didn’t try typing immediately, my grandmother jumped in to respond. “So I just hit this 'send' button here and he’ll get it?”
As she went to click in the body of the email and type, I noticed her pick up the mouse and point it in the general direction of the computer. For a moment I was stunned. I just stared. But finally I said “stop, stop, please. The mouse isn’t a pointer grandma.” She didn’t believe me. No wonder she had been having such trouble with the mouse. Of the three family members who had helped her buy the computer, not one had thought to explain how to use the mouse. We all just assumed.
The point of this post is twofold – one, I was really surprised at how much detail I had to give for what I consider the simplest of operations on a computer (like closing a window, or using the mouse) and the terminology we use isn’t self-explanatory even if we think it is. It’s just confusing. It’s a whole other language – windows, url’s, bugs, pop-ups, and so on. Who can keep up? I’m in no way making fun of, or blaming my grandmother. Exactly the opposite! We “internet savvy” folks haven’t exactly been too thoughtful of our wise and loving elders when it comes to technology. Maybe we should try harder.
Two, the internet and computers really weren’t made for those with bad eyesight (or those who served in the Navy ... kidding...). But seriously, as much as we all use Gmail, for people with bad eyesight the interface is pretty terrible. My grandmother could barely, barely tell the difference between new and old emails. Instead, she had to refer to the number next to "Inbox." On a Mac or a PC, exiting from a window means you have to squint to see where you exit, minimize, etc. Sure, you can maximize the font, but you can’t make those little buttons bigger (or can you??).
That night when I got home, I emailed my grandmother. In my email I very simply reiterated how to reply to an email, where to click to type, etc. The next day, I received this:
“OK MMadeline this is my first attemppt to answer an email. Thanks for your lesson last night, Love you! Grandma”
Success! Cute, no? I love my grandma. I’m happy I got a chance to introduce her to the wide-world of the internet and email. And I can’t wait to visit her again to teach her more. All I can hope is that she doesn’t get too overwhelmed, and that we don’t find her passed out face down on her computer muttering “all I wanted to do was Google…”
